Dimming World

A hair-raising news shook my entire being. “That is the last I can do… If it does not work, you are going to lose your eye sight.” the Ophthalmologist told me, after I went through two laser surgeries.

“Di na pala kita makikita sa gym, Doc.” I broke the silence that momentarily filled the room.

I stood up, gave the doctor a tight hug and said goodbye. I grabbed Gilly’s hand while we traced our way out of the clinic to catch the elevator. While waiting for the elevator, a deafening sound echoed in every cell of my body but I tried to contain them in the silence as my eyes began to water. He gripped my hand tightly as we walked into the elevator. Without saying a word, Gilly assured my trembling heart that everything is going to be all right. I wiped my tears with the back of my hand and placed a smile on my face when the door opened at the ground level of the building.

We emerged in the crowded pavements of Taft Avenue and headed to the parking lot. While we walked, I glanced at every face walking towards my direction, wondering if this could be the last time I will be seeing anything. On the way home, I paid my attention to the olive green trees, golden rice fields, blue sky, black asphalt road, and multi-colored houses along the South Luzon Expressway. I savored each moment of my viewing. Stared at the mystical beauty of Mount Makiling too, I recalled the last time my friends and I trekked to its peak as I rest my head on the back seat of the car. I turned my attention to Gilly trying to memorize each detail of his face.

The days and nights rolled, my world became dimmer. I will not give up on the hope that future advances in science will restore my vision and continue to seek ways I can live productively in the absence of my sense of sight. I began to let go of the things that were not for me anymore. After all, what we see can sometimes be deceiving.

“And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”
― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince


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